The (Mis)Adventures of the Hellsong Brotherhood Guild
by Fonset
Summary: Embark on a journey through Azeroth with the one crazy guild to rule them all: Hellsong Brotherhood! Watch as these unlikely heroes live a life through their characters, tackling bosses (and eachother) along their path to full conquest of the realm! They have but one goal: obtain phat lewts! Prepare to experience some good old nostalgia! (Rated T for language, to be on safe side)


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**The (Mis)Adventures of the Hellsong Brotherhood Guild**

Prologue

_Weird Introductions_

_Disclaimer: Everything but the game here is mine, that is curtesy of Blizzard Entertainment. Though some things are so crazy that I'm reluctant just to claim ownership of them.. ;)_

_A/N: Just my brain making up weirdos basically. No one in this story is a real existing person, neither have I taken any name or persona from someone I've ever really known __**directly**__. I'm trying out both humor and first person perspective (for the most part) here. I hope it's not too bad._

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Once upon a time, in Vanilla WoW, alongside the wonderful ice cream, a guild was created. In honour of the great and powerful Grom Hellscream, and the swift and cunning Maiev Shadowsong, it was named 'Hellsong'. Nowadays, you may find its members lying to you, convincing you that the second part of their first name is a spinoff of 'Warsong'. It is not, look straight down and back away slowly, don't look at their weapons of glory! *ahem* Sorry about that, for sometimes they succeed in frightening me. The second name they posessed is Brotherhood. Hellsong Brotherhood. They do not have 'the', for they are not l33t enough to be called 'The Hellsong Brotherhood'.

The guild's master was called 'Scott'. He was an undead mage who preferred to go by his 'human name': Joey. He was in his late twenties when he was our great leader, and spoke English with a thick Dutch accent. He was our GM until the Burning Crusade invaded our lands and he had to go. (Wife aggro)

Our second GM was Gorehowl, an orc warrior who also liked to (strangely enough) go by his 'human name': Mike. Mike was a guy who was about eighteen years old when he became our GM. Probably not the best decision on our part. *ahem* Moving on.

The best officer of all time is Shaleskit, a troll priest who ALSO preferred to go by his 'human name' (what is up with these people?!): Matt. But we called him skitzo due to his poor choosing of a name.

The best guy of all time is Demise, an undead priest. He just so happened to be an officer as well, but he was better known as 'the guild's very own crazy-pants'. He spoke in weird phrases, his most well-known quote being "Once eaten banana, gone banana.". We were having a serious discussion about raid schedules at that time, just so you are aware of his impact.

The rest of us shall be introduced to you along the way. I hope you can enjoy our (mis)adventures, as we have before you!

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**The Last of His Kind**

_December 2007, Dustwallow Marsh (this name is so stupid. I can't get it right. Dushallow? Durshwallow? WHAT?!)_

_Party: (Misty) Ysamuura's alt, Demise, Soulcake, Banditchase, Shaleskit_

_Ventrilo/TeamSpeak: ON_

"Okay Ys, this is it, no?" said Banditchase in his beautiful accent from Denmark. You want to remember this rogue, believe me.

"Yes, this is it."

As if we had personally poked him, the cynical soul opened his mouth. "I don't see why this is neccesairy. It hardly seems worth the effort." Of course Soulcake, a.k.a. John wouldn't agree with me much on this matter. If only his voice wasn't so calming..

"I need a pet that will stand out. It IS worth every effort."

"Your main is a druid, Ysy, why bother?"

"Let her be, John. We promised we would help her." Shales could brush anything off our shoulder so easily. Perhaps he was the only one able to calm the soul of John back in the day.

"Besides, I would like to reroll."

"Oh really? You're gonna steal my loots, Ys?" Banditchase laughed bitterly, as if he was somehow linked to his undead character.

"We couldn't make this a quicky.." Only now do I realize Demise probably intended for that to be a sexual comment. The silence of the others would add to it really. Gods, I was so young back then..

"Don't worry, I have only a few seconds to tame this wolf!"

"It is one hell of a great looking wolf, that I will admit." John appeared to be nudging his character towards the Grimtotem tauren mobs surrounding the tents. Luckily, us being level 70, what could possibly go wrong?!

Banditchase boredly activated his sprint ability, running around in circles past Shaleskit and Demise, trying to provoke a reaction out of them. Demise used smite on a frog. Good counter attack.

"*sigh* I will count to five, and you will all start engaging in whatever you've been assigned to engage in. By which I mean, Bandit uses the drums and you will all observe. Demise, if you heal Ys, I will personally come to your house and kill you."

"Thanks, buddy." If I could have seen his face, I would have expected Matty would have been rolling his eyes by now. "Da party don't evah stop."

And after another 'fun' comment from Demise, Matt started counting anyway. As if my nerves weren't spiralling through my body already. I checked one more time if I had everything ready for action. Macro, check! Tame Beast spell, check! Haste gear on? Check! After Shales ran through the mobs and literally punched them with his fists, the Grimtotem summoned the beast that would only give me a few seconds to tame him. After macro spamming, Tame Beast activated. Yes, I did close my eyes at this point. Then a soft 'yay' from Demise had me open them. I had my own ghost wolf! I felt like a shaman!

_Give us five minutes._

"Puppy. Puppy?! That's what you came up with? You are so wonderful at making up names.. Puppy.."

"Oh come on, Cake for the Soul, let the Little Girl choose whatever she likes for a name. Perhaps you can try to convince our other hunters to pick another name for their own."

"If only they leveled a bit faster, Matty." Banditchase sighed. He missed his raiding, just as much as he missed being an asshole to people who might get loot that he felt belonged to him. Just as much as Demise missed trolling people for no reason, and just as much as John liked to order people around and scowling them for 'doing it wrong'. The most unlikely set of companions a little girl like me could ever have, perhaps. But definately the most fun companions I could have. Life in HB hasn't always been easy for me, you know. But I'll leave the sob-story for another time.

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_January 14th 2008, Guild Chat_

[Tharukan]: "You know what they've done today?!"

[Gorehowl]: "Do enlighten us."

[Tharukan]: "Blizzard took away the ghost dogs from us hunters. And for no reason!"

[Shaleskit]: "Ah, so now you're pissed?"

[Ysamuura]: "I can kinda see where he's coming from tbh."

[Tharukan]: "The heck yeah I am pissed!"

[Tharukan]: "Also Ys you already have the damn pet too. Just wait till Sal gets here, she'll be as pissed as I am. Perhaps even more as she already invested a metric shitton of gold into the 'wolf taming industry' over here!"

[Shaleskit]: "Well, sorry. But still, wolves are useless compared to cats and on top of that you'd have to level it."

[Banditchase]: "So much for standing out, huh Matt?"

[Shaleskit]: "Yeah well I get that. It's just that he's getting so mad about nothing is all."

[Banditchase]: "Thaar will get over it, though."

[Tharukan]: "I'll just level a rogue or something. At least I'll have my ninja to fall back to."

[Banditchase]: "As long as you don't raid with us anymore, in that case."

[Tharukan]: "I was thinking pickpocket parties in Stormwind."

[Banditchase]: "Partners in crime?! NOO WAAYY JOSE!"

[Shaleskit]: "I have a feeling I should start hiding under my couch more often from now on."

[Demise]: "I feel so kick in my bathrobe atm."

Gorehowl has gone offline.

[Ysamuura]: "No one would dare rob me. I'm still in Scott country."

[Banditchase]: "Aww shit yeah I forgot. His fireball spell will shoot me to hell."

[Banditchase]: "Awww did you see what I just did? I'm a poet and I don't even know it!"

[Shaleskit]: "Feel kick?"

[Ysamuura]: "*claps exitedly for Banditz*"

[Banditchase]: "He feels kicked in the balls atm is what he's saying."

Grommash had come online.

[Demise]: "nothing can defeat me!"

[Ysamuura]: "Still with the alt, Mikey?"

[Shaleskit]: "'cept the cold."

[Grommash]: "I'm just using this as a bank alt for now. Until I really find a class interesting enough to use this name for quite frankly."

[Tharukan]: "It's a good name, in any case."

[Demise]: "youve not seen my name. GOOD."

Ichiino has come online.

[Grommash]: "The legend himself. Still can't believe he was killed off."

[Ichiino]: "Talking about me behind my back I see? I'm still not dead guys, don't worry!"

[Ysamuura]: "Brother bear! *hugs*"

[Ichiino]: "Sister tree! *hugs back*"

[Grommash]: "Don't worry, Itch, you're still not important enough to be a legend above Grom."

[Ichiino]: "Crap, is it that time already? I have to go! *dodges nerd-fest*"

Ichiino has gone offline.

[Shaleskit]: "gg"

[Ysamuura]: "gj."

[Banditchase]: "He'll be back."

[Demise]: "back check."

[Demise]: "nom, fleas."

[Ysamuura]: "Ewwww"

[Shaleskit]: "Stop trying to be Monkyscratch."

[Banditchase]: "Yeah you don't want to be the second idiot to steal me a dagger!"

[Banditchase]: "Or my dagger* whatever."

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_Later that same day._

[Salestia]: "Yeah, I read it on the forums already. WHy d you think I wanst heere for the longest time.?

[Salestia]: "Stupdi new keyboard"

[Ysamuura]: "Try reading before entering. ^^"

[Salestia]: "You've already gottne it, right?"

[Ysamuura]: "yep"

[Salestia]: "Show meh!"

[Tharukan]: "Dont do it girly! she'll eat you alive!"

[Twinkles]: "I don't think so. She can't get past our border."

[Tharukan]: "Why not, everyone can."

[Ysamuura]: "Y?"

[Tharukan]: "No one's checking anything."

[Twinkles]: "Volunteer?"

[Tharukan]: "Does snow mean anything these days?"

[Twinkles]: "*gasp!* that's totally what you would have called the wolf! Snowy!"

[Tharukan]: "Im not a lady, lady."

[Twinkles]: "Orc is boring me atm. Someone please replace this jackass."

[Salestia]: "I thought the 40 -25 split did enough for us thb"

[Salestia]: "TBH***"

[Twinkles]: "I'm so sorry, I saw something else in 'tbh' there xd"

[Tharukan]: "Of course you did, you are just mature like that."

[Salestia]: "Wut?"

[Tharukan]: "nuffin. just being Dutch again. She saw 'bh'."

[Salestia]: "Meaning..?"

[Ysamuura]: "Bra."

[Tharukan]: "Do you see what you've done, Lady! You're making little miss resort to growing up!"

[Twinkles]: "Good thing Demise isn't here. He'd make a diaper comment."

[Ysamuura]: "A what comment?"

[Twinkles]: "luier"

[Ysamuura]: "*screams to the sky* DEMIIISSSEE! (in advantage~)"

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You see? Sometimes, we're just crazy and random like that. Though I am fairly certain every guild experiences moments like these. And not a soul in the world was left to care, especially not Soulcake. (It IS a lovely name xD)

* * *

You have found yourself being introduced to Twinkles & Tharukan, my Dutch friends. Tharu turned out to be living pretty damn close to me. Once I grew older, we started visiting eachother and basically making sure our 'real life friends' weren't safe from the impending Hellsong madness. I was eleven late 2007 and most of 2008, in case you were wondering. Tharu was erm.. well.. fifteen or sixteen, can't remember which. Twinkles was perhaps eighteen here. So Tharu is an orc hunter and Twinkly is an undead mage. Both found themselves in our original raid team before, Tharu was transfered to the dreaded 'team 2' when we had to make a split from 40 man to 25 and still ended up having about 30 people regular raiders and about 40 in total. So yeah, team 2 was born. (It was very icky and eww, lots of blood and gore were produced alongside of it.)

There's also Salestia, a troll hunter who is also a girl. (Girl counter: 3, for the moment :) .)  
Her story in one on its own. It's the sob-story I was referring to earlier. Well, I'm not actually sure if the audience would be interested in that. It involves her being bitchy and all that to little girly me, not recieved very well. MOVING ON!

Banditchase. Undead rogue. We love him for no real reason. He used to ninja loot in Vanilla and played clever games to ditch other rogues. Who was there to stay? Darkness. (Monkyscratch joined later.) That is one out of more than ten, I'll have you know! To think he used to be class leader.. who elected him..?! (Good thing Darkness overtook him.)

One such clever game:

[Banditchase] whispers: "Hey, we have got the same amount of DKP. Since we're the only ones able to affort that dagger, we should do a /roll!"

To [Banditchase]: "yeah sure! thats cool!"

_The dagger drops, the other rogue rolls in /roll. Banditchase, however, bids on the item with Dragon Kill Points (so his DKP, back in the day we had this system, it wasn't actually an in-game mechanic, it was difficult for most to understand and you could do this with it: (following sentence)). Banditz is the only one bidding, so he gets it. The other rogue tries to explain, gets angry eventually and gets himself kicked. Rogues: 0, Bandit: 27._

On the subject of Ichiino: he is a druid recruited for the benefit of.. tanking.. I suppose.. Though he has been seen doing other stuff more than once. Since he's mostly shapeshifting, it's hardly worth noting he plays a male tauren. His name would suggest he's kinda cute, don't be fooled by his clever mind games! He can also shift to cat form, and when he does: stealth and backlash!  
(Don't forget to alert your local police that he's on the loose on your way home, the Orgrimmar Street Patrol is getting tired of him.)

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*Ahem* Welcome to our guild! Hope you will enjoy your stay with us!

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_A/N: I'm sorry, I had to write something else for a change. As my laptop is broken at the moment, I'm only working on ONE story. Well it turns out.. I can't really write one story at a time.. So, to avoid getting bored with it, I did this. Also, please let me know what you think of this (I also accept PMs for this!). I've never attempted humor stories before.. and this is just something crazy I started making up a few years ago, expanding it over the years into this 'abomination'. :3_

_In the case of this story, the chapters will probably be long, especially for me. (Think 10k+ words, this is just a prologue only about 500 words short of my regular chapter goal.)_


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